contemplation: challenge, conflict and choices

Identifying myself as a writer and being a writer present quite a challenge.

I just had one of those aha! moments. Like the flash of a camera. Or when the exactly right word pops into consciousness. Most occasions those come and go and are never recorded even in one of the numerous little notepads I tote routinely.

Since I happened to be at the computer (and just the other day wrote of blog-worthy passing moments that too come and go), I decided to capture the thought as it sublimely flashed in my mind.

By that time, the precise words had drifted past, leaving me with a workable resemblance. More often than not, my hands aren’t quick enough to capture that burst of knowingness (and short it is too). I’m not even gonna poke at the procrastinator within who doesn’t put pen to paper as she should. 😉

Being a writer and calling myself a writer are two different things and fundamental in an ongoing struggle with self-acceptance, self-worth and things related like joy, prosperity and fulfillment.

Instigating these reflections (not for the first time certainly) I think is the current potential dilemma that could require me to decide between two choices (per prior post) — each positive, each quite different from the other, each worthy of consideration, each welcomed for its attributes.

As one who relishes having choices and needs to have choices (addendum: far and above the levels of most), I can’t really complain. I know what it is to have no choice, to have choices made for me and having choices made for me and forced upon me that were excruciating painful, violated my will and good and the higher will and forces — be they called Spirit or God or Universe or All That Is.

What it seems to boil down to is that if indeed I am faced with choosing between two jobs (and the odds I reckon are stronger than not), then I’ll need to draw from some core truths and  values that I do not necessarily deem as self-evident.

I love having choices. Better is having two or more good choices. They do, however, demand considerable contemplation and a willingness to not only be aware of your true self but to act in accordance.

Changing times indeed.


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