contemplation: challenge, conflict and choices

Identifying myself as a writer and being a writer present quite a challenge.

I just had one of those aha! moments. Like the flash of a camera. Or when the exactly right word pops into consciousness. Most occasions those come and go and are never recorded even in one of the numerous little notepads I tote routinely.

Since I happened to be at the computer (and just the other day wrote of blog-worthy passing moments that too come and go), I decided to capture the thought as it sublimely flashed in my mind.

By that time, the precise words had drifted past, leaving me with a workable resemblance. More often than not, my hands aren’t quick enough to capture that burst of knowingness (and short it is too). I’m not even gonna poke at the procrastinator within who doesn’t put pen to paper as she should. 😉

Being a writer and calling myself a writer are two different things and fundamental in an ongoing struggle with self-acceptance, self-worth and things related like joy, prosperity and fulfillment.

Instigating these reflections (not for the first time certainly) I think is the current potential dilemma that could require me to decide between two choices (per prior post) — each positive, each quite different from the other, each worthy of consideration, each welcomed for its attributes.

As one who relishes having choices and needs to have choices (addendum: far and above the levels of most), I can’t really complain. I know what it is to have no choice, to have choices made for me and having choices made for me and forced upon me that were excruciating painful, violated my will and good and the higher will and forces — be they called Spirit or God or Universe or All That Is.

What it seems to boil down to is that if indeed I am faced with choosing between two jobs (and the odds I reckon are stronger than not), then I’ll need to draw from some core truths and  values that I do not necessarily deem as self-evident.

I love having choices. Better is having two or more good choices. They do, however, demand considerable contemplation and a willingness to not only be aware of your true self but to act in accordance.

Changing times indeed.


it’s friggin’ weird all right

I emailed a friend yesterday saying it’s friggin’ weird how life goes sometimes.

Case in point: Got a call yesterday from Costco inviting me to interview in P-town. (Don’t care to disclose the name just now.) A lovely town where I’ve spent time recently and would dearly love to live. A town around 2-1/2 hours  away by car. More on the Costco moment in a moment

Then, as it happens, I also need to take the car in to fix a repair job flubbed in Colorado. The shop’s part of a nationwide chain and for warranty purposes I need to take her to the nearest site, which  happens to be P-town.

So a twofer of car repairs and interview in the town that I may one day call home.

Now to the interview. I’ve been trying to get on with Costco for years. Yes, years. Plenty of times have I said “I need to work for Costco.” I’m perfect for it. Share the same high standards of work ethics and customer service. I hold the company, its  practices and policies, in the highest respect and regard.

And I’m interviewing with them!

Here’s the rub for as Gilda Radner used to say on “Saturday Night Live,” it’s always something. There’s no set work schedule at Costco. Could be 25 hours a week, 10 or 40. No way of knowing week to week, potentially perilous and damaging to finances. On the other hand, it’s also a potential boost with sufficient hours due to a decent starting wage ($11 I believe). All things considered it’s well worth the interview and drive.

Another aspect in the friggin’ weird. I moved to this town just five weeks ago. Amid a dearth of work and very positive talk with my boss, we just (just = as of just last week) got my quantity of weekly stories up to the level discussed pre-hire and one that enables me to meet my obligations, put gas in the car and have enough left for beers.

In that order of importance. 🙂

I like my job, I love the writing. And I make little. This is no cash cow, that is certain. Fact is, the only way I can make it work is by keeping living expenses very low. Simple and minimalist (and at this time and place in my life I’m able to do so).

So that’s the scoop. Car repairs and interview occurring simultaneously and both in a town I really like. Potential job with Costco and improvement in current work situation occurring simultaneously.

What’s going on up there in the ethers I cannot say, save that it’s friggin’ weird all right.



Cheap fun in Kingman, AZ. (Cheap sardines too.)

It’s big. It’s huge. It’s the talk of the town.

Who’d a-thought it’d generate all this enthusiastic interest? (Well, I woulda.)

Who’d a-thought that I’d stop by, curious and excited for something to do in this, a small, town.

Whooooooooo hoooooo! Welcome to:


Yes, this brand-spanking-new 99-cent store has come to Kingman, Arizona. And it is not a bad place at all (that goes for Kingman as well).  Indeed, I was shocked when I spontaneously bopped in on the way to the bank. The place was packed! You’d think it was December 23 — minus the panic and insanity — for the folks streaming through the aisles, perusing the plethora of items, pushing carts with foods and goods sufficient to feed a family of four following a flood.  The interest and excitement in the air were palpable.

And this is what day?! Thursday mid-afternoon. Can only imagine what it looks like on a weekend!
Matter of fact, with the lines and seemingly everyone’s baskets loaded up but mine, I  was very nearly about to retreat and reshelve my puny lil’ four items and return later that night just before the store closed to (hopefully) beat the crowds when some nice person with plenty of items offered to let me go ahead.

It was just that busy and just that exciting at the 99-cent store (on an off-day yet!). I was also saying that I was shocked not only by the crowd but the store. Big, spacious, clean, organized, super nicely laid out, not all trashy like some I’ve seen, and the products … wowee, I must say. A REAL variety, from the goods you usually see in dollar stores to foods and produce. And not the yuck stuff that’s a day away from the compost pile or utterly flavorless mushy green beans from a can.

Kingman’s new 99-cent store is, I tremble to say, the best — in terms of variety, quality, presentation and value — I’ve ever seen in a dollar store. (I tremble because I speak with unintentional authority, I’ve perused just that many dollar stores across lord knows how many states, cities and small towns in my time.)

And I, your unofficial and unpaid roving reporter, was there, bringing you the news of this terrific and already well-received and popular addition to Kingman.

Life in a small town … where the entertainment’s cheap and too my cans of sardines.